Anger Management

Apparently, I have not been handling my anger correctly. I have not been screaming at those I feel have wronged me. I have not burned my Ex's abandoned things. These things are not how I was raised to deal with emotions. The issue then becomes that I am "stuffing the emotion" and that is causing it to turn inward.  This apparently is causing depression.
So I have been referred to an Mens Anger Management group. I am hopping that this will help with the issues I have in expressing my anger and feelings. I am not sure yet. I know part of my issues and can name them but have a hard time connecting the path forward. Perhaps I can learn to express my anger at my family and significant others (when they piss me off) in a manner that balances between expression and stuffing.
I know that part of this issue is deep seated in my family structure. My mother , and don't for a second think  I think ill of my mother, has a history of nullifying my feelings with her own. That is to say that if I express any anger or displeasure at her actions attitudes or other things, she immediately throws out the guilt and cries "well i never wanted to upset you". Then my dad gets angry at who ever is pissing her off. The end affect is that no one is allowed to be angry at my mother with few exceptions . Now that is not an all truism . there have been times and incidences that she has not reacted that way but more often than not I have been left feeling that MY ANGER IS NEVER JUSTIFIED.
If boys pattern their girlfriends after their mothers , and apparently I am one that dose, this sense of   indefensible anger has run through EVERY relationship I have had.  Whether or not that is the case. It is not a matter of dose my s.o. being approachable with me being angry I have been programed to reign in the rage through not only years of family dynamic but my own violent youth.
I am in recovery. I have been since my mid teens. As alcoholism and addiction are incurable conditions and as I trace part of it to my biochemical reactions to drugs including those administered under surgical supervision, I will never say that I am "recovered". It is just another facet of who I am.  Shine on you crazy diamond.
In recovery we talk of taking inventories of self in order to rid ourselves of resentments. This works if we have done the work to accept the situations and facts first. Owning our parts in things is a powerful tool to clear up the wreckage of the past when we have torn through lives like tornados and left swaths of victims. Even in sober life we still have to own our parts in the destruction we still may visit on others. Everyone causes pain to others in life. There is no getting out of that.
But is this anger issue about the destruction I have caused or The little boy inside that learned to never express anger and rage in a balanced way?
Time to Eat the Lama
I have anger issues because I didn't learn that there are times when I deserve to have my anger heard when I feel it and in it's raw form. I didn't learn that there is a balance between rage and a healthy expression of anger so instead I lock away the anger and parse out enough of it to be manageable.  I have learned to "keep my mouth shut " to avoid the backlash of my family and significant others.
I have to learn to value myself and trust that my anger is ok to express when I feel it. I have to learn that people deserve to be confronted with my anger in a nondestructive way when they fuck up REALLY badly.